Unbeautiful
by Romancelover1321
Summary: It's about the life of the divorced Aki and whats she been through, how she dealt with it and the most important how she became unbeautiful. Songfic. Revised 6/23/2010


Everything was perfect. We were married and as happy as clams. You're going to have to forgive me for the harsh cliché.

I have read so many articles about the signs of a failing relationship, out of curiosity, and while I agreed with some of them, I still felt as though they didn't get it. I felt like I knew the secret that kept a relationship going even though I was divorced and lonely, begging for my lover's touch. It was so obvious, right under their noses.

There is no complicated or misleading body language, no frustrating rules and expectations; it was simple, cut and dry. If you woke up in the morning happy to be in your partners arm then you were going to last. If you woke up and you practically jumped out of bed and run away then you're not.

We fell in the first category. Most of our duels were late in the evening and we got home early in the morning, so to be kind, our managers allowed us to sleep in.

Usually, I would wake up later than he did and he would patiently wait and watch, watch with so much love that I thought my heart would burst. As my eyelashes fluttered open, the golden light of the sun blocked my vision as it curiously peered through the curtains, I would catch him staring at me with those bright cobalt blue eyes of his. The very eyes that made my heart flutter and caused every fiber of my being to vibrate with gratitude.

For a few seconds, we would watch each other silently, peering into each other's eyes as our irises conveyed our secrets and wishes. His heartbeat would pound in rhythm with mine as the sound swelled in the room creating the sweetest music. His warm breath would wash over my groggy face before he leaned down, kissing me with slow passion before we got up and fell into our daily routine.

Yusei was my savior, my lover, my everything. He was there when I need him most, comforted me when I felt like I was breaking to pieces and laughing with me when I was beaming with happiness.

If I had to pinpoint on what drew me to him; it was his eyes. They were as deep as the night sky, so vast and mysterious, yet kept the faint sparkle of raw emotions. His eyes were honest and open, filled with so much acceptance and pride. He held everything I wanted to see but when I met him, I was tricked and broken. At the time, I thought if I let him in that he would break my heart like so many other people before him.

At first he frightened me, scared me to my core. I never experienced a person who displayed his heart so openly and I couldn't help but be skeptical of him. Yet, he stayed determined and he saved me from everything that would have destroyed me. For that, I will eternally be grateful, even now when he's gone and I'm lonely, lying in an empty bed with an aching heart.

When we first started dating, it baffled me. How could someone like _him _care for someone like _me_ but when we got married all my doubts were blown away when he spoke the sacred words "I do", which tied us together forever.

Akiza Fudo. That was the name I saw on the certificate, a piece of paper that seemed so insignificant yet held so much power. It seemed so strange, so foreign and I was scared that maybe Yusei would leave me because my name didn't poetically flow with his last name. Yet when we went to bed that night and he spoke my name, as if he knew my doubts just by looking at my face, it rolled off his tongue with a sweet gentleness and I never worried about it again.

Sorry I haven't introduced myself. As you all know, my name is Akiza Fudo but I prefer to go by the name Aki. Now that we got the introductions out of the way, I'm going to explain the whole story from beginning to end.

Every since I was a young girl, I loved dueling with a burning passion. It was, during my time, the most popular card game of the century and was one of the easiest ways to rise to the top if you're any good.

On my fifth birthday, I was waiting patiently for my father to come home. I didn't even eat my cake! Let me tell you, that isn't an easy task for a five year old to not eat her mother's homemade cake with her favorite fruit on top. Yet somehow, I had managed.

The day started to slowly tick away and the sun had already crawled underneath the blankets of the horizon and the moon was slowly rising to its throne in the sky. Soup warmed my body and my eyelids slowly got heavier; my body felt like a dead weight and moving suddenly became a very difficult task.

The only thing that drove me to stay awake for another hour was my excitement that my father was coming home with my present, hoping with all my might it was the duel deck I wanted.

My father was a senator and that meant that he was always busy, whether he liked it or not. He would always come home about 9:00 every night since he was appointed into office and that night was no exception. By the time, he made it home I was already fast asleep on the table, my head resting in my folded arms. I don't know why but I'm a light sleeper and I had heard the soft patter of his footsteps. I had become accustomed to the silence in my large house but I wasn't lonely. I had my parents, and at that time that's all I really needed.

"Did you wait for me?" I heard him ask in a gentle laugh. I didn't answer or open my eyes because by that time thinking had become nearly impossible. With a soft sigh, I listened as he shuffled over to me before he gently picked me up in his warm arms. To me, the best feeling in the world was when my father would carry me in his strong arms and a sense of security would wash over me. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep, lulled by my father's strong heartbeat and soft breathing.

When I woke that morning, I saw a neat folded package on my nightstand. I peeled off the wrapping neatly (I hated it picking up the little scraps) and saw the deck I had been begging for.

It was the Lord of the Storm deck, the one I saw in the game shop window and desired with all my heart. Every time my mother and I went shopping and just happened to pass by the shop, I would stare at it with my hands pressed closely to the glass and my nose pushed against the window so hard that my mother feared it was permanently glued there. The only time I would pry myself off was when my mother, irritated and running out of patience, would grab me roughly by the collar and drag me away.

Clutching the deck to my chest, I walked into the kitchen and saw my father standing near the coffee machine, tapping his fingers impatiently on the counter. Finally, when the glass pot was filled half way, he grabbed the black handle and forced it off the black platform. Without putting the coffee pot down, he opened one of the cupboard doors, grabbed a mug and poured himself a steaming cup of coffee. He turned around and was about to stalk away, while taking a sip, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed me.

"Thank you for the present, Daddy."

"You're welcome." He said gruffly, unlike his soft tone when he came home last night.

"And I…" I paused. "I wanted to know…" When I didn't continue my father broke the awkward silence.

"Yes, Aki." I could hear the genuine curiosity in his voice and I refused to look anywhere but my bare feet, my toes suddenly became the most interesting thing in the world.

"Can we duel?" I finally finished my sentence, looking stubbornly into his cinnamon eyes. He just laughed; it was a deep reverberating chuckle. He bent down to my size, one knee resting the ground while he balanced by resting his free hand on my shoulder.

"Sure but you're going to have to wait." I nodded my head; the fact I was going to learn to duel was enough to curb my impatience.

For the whole entire week, my thoughts kept wandering to the upcoming duel. In school, all I would talk about is my duel until the point my friends would get up and leave because they were sick of listening to me ramble on. In class, I often found myself day dreaming of the deck upstairs on my nightstand.

However, that Sunday, my dream would be postponed.

Once again, my father kneeled down to my height and looked me straight in the eye. There was no smile on his face, no laughter, no gruff but caring tone in his voice. The only thing I could see was solemn cinnamon eyes with a sadness that tugged at my heart.

"Sweetie, I have to go on a business trip and I won't be back for a month. But when I get home, I promise I will make time to duel with you." He looked at me, expecting me to understand. In most circumstances, I would have. But I waited so long for this! Didn't he want to be with me? I was a good girl. I drank my milk and cleaned my room when I was asked too. I did my homework, got good grades, smiled, laughed, and never asked anything for my birthdays or Christmas. So what I do wrong?

I felt the tears form in my eyes. One slid down my check and I could see the guilt reflected in his brown irises.

"I hate you." I yelled. Before he could even react, I pulled out of his grasp and ran down the hall.

A month later, a guilty daughter and a guilty father finally got the opportunity to duel. I was happy but somewhere in the back of my mind I knew my hatred wasn't completely gone. I hated my father for leaving Mom and me and that he found work more important than us.

The duel was going perfectly. Dad was winning but by only a hundred life points. In the background, I could hear my mom cheering for both of us, though she cheered for me more than she did for my father.

Someone in the sky, who really must have despised me, must have been responsible for the next events. That was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with over the years.

My father's cell phone rang. It always rang, I didn't remember a time in my childhood when it didn't. A part of hoped he would ignore the call but that hope didn't last very long because he answered it, placing the phone in its familiar place between his ear and his shoulder.

Once he hung up, my father informed me that he had to leave and that we could have a rematch later. I didn't want to hear that. I waited for an entire month - a month! - and he just goes and decides that he can leave because of some stupid ringing device!

In a blind fury, I played the spell card, a move I was planning to do before the stupid pieces of ringing junk bothered us. Something was different though. The hologram glowed bright pink and wind emitted from the glowing card, whipping and howling so wildly that it sent my father into the wall behind him.

I watched as a human sized dent formed in the wall before my father fell to the ground like a broken rag doll. Shaking uncontrollably, I watched as he shakily got up, deep scratches decorating his cheeks. Horrified, I followed the crimson blood as it fell from his wounds and into the carpet

How did he get hurt?

Wait, did _I_ hurt him?

How could I? I hurt my own father! Wait, maybe this was a misunderstanding. None of this was happening. It was just a very bad dream. A nightmare.

I took a small step toward him but his eyes, my eyes, looked back at me with a burning hatred.

"Stay back you, _monster_." Right after that his eyes shone with guilt. He was quick to apologize, but I didn't want to hear it. I ignored everything. I ignored my pounding heartbeat, my shallow breathing, my hazy vision. I ignored my mother's sharp yells of disapproval. All I could hear were those words as the swirled around in my head and the blood as it fell from my father's cheek. I was a monster. A monster. Then I cried.

That day I had lost everything. My parents couldn't find it in their hearts to love me; instead, they feared me. They feared my powers and as a result they left their only daughter all alone and hurt, feeling as if she was a mistake.

Breakfast, which used to be filled with laughter, changed to an awkward silence with the occasional grunt from my father when he didn't agree with what an article had to say. Weekends or afternoons were spent locked in my room either studying or rearranging my deck for any possible strategies I missed, even though I knew I wasn't going to be dueling for a long time. Nights were spent staring blankly at my ceiling, wandering to past memories where life was at its peak.

When I turned 16, I was enrolled into Duel Academy. My parents, the sneaky people they were, got me in by using my father's many connections. However, I knew that none of the unsuspecting student body and staff new about my dangerous powers. When I asked why they did it, they told me they believed Duel Academy could help control my powers. At that, I just laughed and stormed out of the room.

I knew what really was going on here. They were scared, scared of me and my powers and they wanted me as far away as possible.

As they had been wrong for 11 years, it wasn't a surprise to me Duel Academy couldn't help me either. One afternoon, some Obelisk Blue was stupid enough to challenge me. I said yes, fully knowing the consequences. Let's just say the boy was lying in a hospital bed, resembling a torn up human punching bag.

Rumors and doubt are like a disease. Some people, when they hear rumors, go out of their way to see if it was true or not. Even though most people _saw_ the duel between the Obelisk Blue and me, some still foolishly challenged me believing it was a hoax. Because of this, more and more incidents occurred and over a third of the student body was in a hospital bed, some worse than others. Because of these incidents, I had no friends; I was feared by the whole school and my powers became worse.

Before I came to Duel Academy, I could barely feel the faint prickling sensation of my powers. But over the three exhausting years that prickling sensation turned into a indescribable pain and some days it was hard not to given into it and destroy everything around me.

When I graduated, I took the first helicopter to New Domino city and I ran home. I knew I wasn't exactly going to be welcomed back with open arms. However, on my journey, I had a lot of time to organize years of thoughts and I figured if anyone had to accept me, it was my parents.

I was exhausted by the time I made it to my street but I continued on, knowing that home, my home, was close by.

I think the real reason why I wanted to return is I wanted to satisfy my curiosity and see how they were doing without me. Were they depressed? Were they happy? Did they miss me? Did they even notice I was gone?

It was about five and the streets were already barren, cold and dark. It was no surprise to me because no one in the neighborhood liked to stay outside when evening was near. There had been way to many horror stories of psychos from the Satellite kidnapping New Domino children and I don't think I helped matters.

When I reached the house, I didn't walk to the door because I knew there was the possibility that they might slam the door in my face. Instead, I maneuvered my way to the large window, just to peek and see if it was safe to knock.

The window showed our cozy living room, two antique coaches facing a wooden coffee table. I smiled fondly as I remembered how I was five as I struggled to stay awake until Dad came home with my present.

I didn't realize how far I was lost in my memory until I spotted a familiar maroon red head. Both my parents were sitting on one of the antique couches, Mom was laughing at something my father said. I could see it in their eyes, they were happy. They were so happy, Mom lying on my father's chest as she traced small circles into his hand.

Since I turned five, I never saw them that close. They never were relaxed. Laughter or smiles were prohibited. They just remained somberly quiet as they ignored me entirely, as if I wasn't even alive.

_If they don't need me_, I thought bitterly, _then I don't need them_. It was hard to ignore the raw anger; it was so strong it felt as if I was suffocating.

Then I felt it for the first time. Fear. Fear of being swallowed whole by my burning anger that I struggled to control most of my life, fear of becoming something the whole world already believed me to be. A monster.

In that moment, I did the only thing I knew how. I destroyed whatever was near me.

I watched with a sick pleasure as the roof started to crack and the glass in the windows shattered into crystal pieces. The walls shook and crumbled as if an earthquake was attacking it.

My parents scurried out of the house like a mouse caught by a cat and my mouth twisted into a triumphant smirk as I watched. I turned my back to the trembling house and my satisfied smirk twitched higher when I heard the boom of an explosion. Without once glancing back at the house that now lay in ruins, I walked confidently down the street.

"Akiza!" I heard a worn out deep voice calling out my name. I knew who it was, of course, but I ignored him and kept walking.

"Akiza!" He called out again and I stopped, contemplating if I should turn around and confront of him. Another surge of deep anger started to bubble inside my blood and I decided with new resolve that I would have nothing to do with my so-called "family". I would live on my own. I would depend on myself and only myself. I didn't need them. I didn't need anyone.

After the incident, I became an underground duelist, gaining new powerful cards and leaving my powers seriously unchecked. Over the years, my victim count skyrocketed and then something new happened. I killed someone.

Any human being, even if they were considered monsters, is still human and that didn't mean I didn't feel guilt. In fact, the guilt only intensified until it was almost as unbearable as my anger. I didn't know how to deal with Akiza, the guilty 16 year old who was so scared and lonely and just wanted someone to love her.

So, I created her. The Black Rose. She was confident, she didn't let her emotions get to her and most important, she was strong. Unlike the weak Akiza.

When I turned 17, I meet a man known as Sayer. He tricked me with his sweet words, told me I was a physic duelist and I was the future to a certain movement called Arcadia. He wanted my help to destroy a man know as Rex Goodwin.

He told me that man deserved to die. That he was nothing but evil and trying to taint the world. He told me the awful things Goodwin did to innocent villages and people.

He took control my mind. He became my thoughts and I believed that all I had to do was live and feel. And I let him, because he was the first person to offer me an explanation. He got me out of my suffocating thoughts and I could walk down a street just looking at it with a smile on my face, letting my senses enjoy the beauty around me.

At first, I was happy at the movement. I finally meet people who more or less understood what I had been through, who had been denied by family and friends as I had been and escaped to the cruelty of the streets only because they had nowhere else to turn.

I remembered very clearly one kid who idolized me. His name was Toby. He would often bug me but it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside to be near him, as if being friends with him was the right thing to do.

He told me that he wanted to be exactly like me. Me! A monster! Toby often smiled and laughed in front of me, as if I was one of his friends he was talking to and not someone who could easily kill him with a flick of a card. He was comfortable around me. It was an attitude that felt so nostalgic, like a faint echoing in the back of my mind and I welcomed it with open arms.

When he died, I was blamed for it even though I had nothing to do with it.

I continued for years after that to grow more powerful, more unstable and I didn't finally turn my life around until I met Yusei.

The first time I saw him was at a crowded parking lot. I was in the middle of the asphalt parking lot; my dragon's thorny whips wildly crashing anywhere they could reach, destroying everything with a single touch.

The wind howled like a threatened wolf, my long bangs blew harshly in the roaring winds. His mark was glowing bright red, causing mine to glow and something in the pit of my stomach told me something was wrong.

I remembered many questions running through my head. Why did he have a mark? How did he get one? Why was he staring at it with such amazement? That mark had caused me nothing but pain and misery, there was nothing amazing or mystical about it. It was evil, pure evil.

He looked up at me with those cobalt blue eyes and I became breathless. He was… beautiful isn't the right word but it was close to the word I wanted.

Something new bubbled in my blood, and it wasn't anger or fear. It was something completely surreal and it frightened me more than anything in my life.

I told him harshly to leave me alone, a sharp hitch in my breath that he didn't hear over the roaring winds. He shouted something to me, I am not sure what he said, but I could see in his orbs he had developed an interest in me. I had to escape. I had to leave and I did worried cobalt orbs forever burned in my memory.

Two weeks after meeting Yusei, I received a simple, elegant envelope that invited me to the Fortune Cup. Sayer was delighted was by the news, claiming he wanted to "show" the world my beautiful face. Unfortunately, he just wanted to show Goodwin our power. My power. My destructive power.

I won my first two duels but at a heavy price. My powers quickly fell out of control and the crowd that original disliked Yusei. now disliked me. They yelled at me, screaming their profanities as they threw the stones from the arena at me. I was used to this, or at least I should have been, but it felt like thousands of needles stabbed my heart at every cold cruel comment.

Yusei didn't act like any of them. He didn't proclaim their cruel cold words. He didn't even say that he was going to be the winner of the duel. He kept his mouth shut and instead gave me a long cold hard stare, as if he was trying to read my thoughts.

As the duel was about to begin, I pulled my white opera influenced mask out of my pocket.

"Don't put your mask on." That's the first and last thing Yusei ever demanded of me.

I didn't listen to him. The mask was the only thing that made me feel safe. It made my thoughts disappear from my bittersweet past. When I put on this mask, I felt more like her. I was stronger, I was more confident and with that mask I could have taken over the world if I so chose.

"You're too late Yusei." I whispered gently as his eyes narrowed.

I knew what he wanted to say. It was burning on his pale lips, 'take off your mask', that's what he wanted to demand of me. He must have known that I wasn't going to listen, must have known that I wouldn't listen no matter how many times he told me. However, that didn't stop him from trying relay the message through his beautiful cobalt blue orbs, something I felt was extremely unfair.

I didn't know why Sayer wanted me to duel. I didn't want to duel, knowing that I was going to hurt someone. However, he told me it was for the "good" of the movement and that the movement had saved me from my misery.

But I didn't want to do everything for the movement. I wanted to do something for _me_. Something that made _me_ happy.

The duel was going fine at first, (hauntingly similar to my father's duel with me in the past) and exactly like I predicted, it quickly went downhill. I told my beautiful dragon to attack, which it followed the command and wrapped its thorny vines around his arms and torso and violently sent him crashing a few feet into the ground, creating a crater.

I watched with a wince as ground cracked with a sick crunch from the rough blow, but Yusei got back up, his eyes showing a hidden anger.

"You enjoy inflicting pain on others, don't you?" I couldn't help but gasp. It was the first time someone said anything like that to me and it made me catch my breath. What was this pounding feeling? I knew I didn't want to hurt others but I didn't want have a choice. Sayer told me to, my savior, and I was required to do everything he said.

But when I looked up at Yusei, one leg bent painfully and scratches marring his perfect face I knew I didn't want to hurt him. My heart was pounding faster and with each pound, I could feel a maddening guilt. It felt as if my head was swelling with this new emotion and I just couldn't get it out of my confused mind.

I wanted to shout that everyone who hurt me deserved it. I wanted to shout that the whole world hated me so why should I show them any compassion when they hadn't. No matter what I would do, they would still be sacred of me. Fear was contagious and past mistakes could not be so easily forgiven. Fear created hate. I knew that even if I could control my powers they would find some flaw and constantly jeer and sneer and whisper behind my back. Instead, I chose to bite my tongue to prevent myself from saying what I really wanted.

"I'm the Black Rose. I'm a fearful lady who enjoys destruction."

I thought Yusei had given up, just like my parents, but like all things with Yusei I was wrong. He had just convinced himself that it was useless to try to talk me out of it and that he would have to win this duel to show me the truth. And so the battle continued.

The once majestic arena now lay in pieces of rubble, heavy stones were being blown around by the roaring winds. No matter how bad it got for Yusei, no matter how many times I had hurt him, I still saw the unwavering determination in his eyes. What was he so determined about? Was it because he thought that he could save me?

Yusei sent a monster to attack me, having the audacity to attack my precious beautiful dragon. When they collided, the wind between them grew stronger, harsher, wilder and it became so strong that it broke my mask in half. I watched with wide eyes as the broken half fell to the floor with a clatter and rolled to its curved side before becoming still.

Yusei won the duel. I took off my mask. I had promised myself long ago if I ever lost I would take it off and show my opponent my broken face. He just showed me sympathy, sweet sympathy that even Sayer didn't show me. I expected his face to twist in unnatural amusement at the fact that he beat a witch but Yusei was too kind for that. We both watched as lone tear fell down my porcelain cheek and fell on the ground.

In my eyes, I knew what I was trying to convey. I begged, pleaded him to save me. I wanted to believe that he understood what I was trying to say but I didn't get the chance to confirm it because Sayer was already sauntering his way toward me. With no comfort at all, he draped his coat around my shoulders and then guided me away with his nails digging into the soft skin of my bicep.

Yusei did save me. Maybe not as quickly as I hoped but eventually he fulfilled his promise when the dark signers started appearing. He had saved me from Sayer. He showed me Sayer's true intentions and held me when I called him a liar and other cruel names I couldn't remember.

Apparently, Toby's older sister had resented me and she believed I had killed him and she was set out to destroy me at my own game. I had this sickening feeling that she was going to win; the shivers racing down my spine were proof enough.

Then there was a loud explosion that shook the whole building and Misty got this look in her eyes as if she knew _exactly _what was going on. Fear pooled into my lower abdomen. Sayer.

I was about to demand that she tell me what she did to Sayer but she disappeared, leaving our duel to a tie. Before I had the chance to chase after her, the building began to crumble around me, hindering me from getting any further. Dust and panic filled up the darkened building as floors started to crash into each other. I saw an opening through the crumbling concrete and was about to take it when suddenly the wind strengthened, making the hem of my dress flutter wildly.

I didn't have time to contemplate the sudden change in the wind because I watched as Sayer's thin frame came hurtling down the middle of the building that resembled a square spiral staircase.

Before I could even call out his name, the piece of the floor above me cracked dangerously before breaking off and slamming loudly next to me.

The floor shook under the weight of the heavy concrete and flung my light body forward; my head hit the railing with a sickening crunch. That's the last thing I remembered before my vision hazed over darkly and my mind fell into a black oblivion.

Coma is like being in a really bad nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. I was trapped in the destructing building, exhausted beyond belief, calling for Sayer. I ran and ran but I couldn't find anyone, let alone Sayer. I yelled until my voice became hoarse but I just heard my desperate echo reverberated by the falling concrete.

When I finally 'awoke', I was in a pitch-black room and there were two people standing in a soft yellow light, Sayer and Yusei. Extending behind them were two roads. Sayer's road was the color of crimson, cold but oddly inviting. Yusei's path was a bright soft yellow, so warm and enticing but I was already transfixed with the Sayer's road.

Both men were holding out their hands, gesturing for me to choose them. I watched in fascination as Sayer spoke, his tone sickly sweet.

"Yusei will not come and save you. He's already forgotten about you."

His words stung. I didn't want to believe it but it was probably true. He probably already forgot about me, already pushed the thought of me in the back of his mind to let it collect dust. I didn't want to think about it. Transfixed, I took a step toward Sayer but I noticed something very odd. He was like a hologram, a reflection of the light and that's when I remembered, Sayer was dead. He didn't have control over me. He didn't have the power to tell me what to do, what to wear, what to say or what to think.

Yusei just started at me with those cobalt blue eyes, not saying a word as he kept his leather-gloved hand out stretched toward me. With confidence I didn't know that I had, I reached for Yusei's hand. When I felt the suple leather underneath the palm of my soft hands, I intertwined our fingers and gave his hand a gentle squeeze as I softly smiled at him. He smiled back at me and I thought for a moment that my heart completely stopped. I was going to speak but then suddenly the room started glowing bright yellow and I lifted my hands to shield my eyes, regrettably taking my hand away from Yusei's.

Finally, I had really awoken. I groggily opened my eyes; the white thick fog in my vision was making it hard to tell what this black and yellow thing was above me. After several blinks and several surprised gasps, I could finally see what this 'thing' was.

It was Yusei. He was staring at me with worried cobalt blue eyes, eyes that made my heart flutter and it took everything in me to keep my blush from showing.

Apparently, while I was taking my little 'nap', Jack had decided on his own to tell my 'worried' parents that Yusei was the only one who could possibly save me. My parents decided to listen to the blonde hair, purple-eyed moron and my father found the nearest helicopter and flew to Satellite to beg Yusei to help them.

My muscles ached and with some difficulty, I was able to sit straight up. Then without any warning, it felt I was hit in the chest and my breath was knocked out of me.

Sayer was dead. I didn't have a place, a home, anymore. I looked around the room furiously; glaring at the relieved faces that surrounded me. What were they so happy about? They all had a place in this world. Why did they get to have a place to call home, a place that was safe and warm, and I didn't! My thoughts swirled around the possible reasons why these people who have a place, a home, and I didn't. And I found the answer to be simple. Because they weren't me. Because they didn't have physic powers and they weren't considered some sideshow freak.

I was scared, you have to understand that. So when all of a sudden my parents wanted to be part of my life when for a good portion they avoided me like a plague, I naturally didn't believe them. I felt it was a nightmare, some hoax and that they were going to tear me apart like they did last time. I was just trying to protect myself.

Yusei dueled me for a second time. It seemed he was a little lost and scared too. (I would later learn it was directly due to Yusei losing his duel with Kallen, one of his friends in the past.)

At first, it was easy to tell that I was winning by the way the bruises and cuts increased on Yusei's handsome form but I feared Yusei would get lucky and fear crawled down my spine at the thought of losing again. Like I predicted, he summoned forth his Stardust Dragon, his fear of losing vanished and along came that determination that wouldn't _go_ away!

With a new fear and anger I never experienced, I heard as my pin crashed down the floor, clacking and clanking before stopping a couple inches away from my feet. It was like thunder ripping a hole in the sky and the tension and fear was thick in the air. Then all hell broke loose.

Suddenly the powers inside me became overwhelming and after attacking with Black Rose Dragon, they stayed as bright little purple flowers with sharp edges.

In raw anger, I sent a crippling attack toward Yusei. However, my father developed a soft spot for him and he had stepped onto the field and stood in front of Yusei as the attack came looming nearer and nearer.

I didn't want to add another nightmare. I didn't want to wake up in a cold sweat, my lungs desperately searching for cold air. I didn't want to wake up screaming. I didn't want to take another sleeping pill just to get to sleep. So I stopped my powers. I actually stopped them. For the first time in my life without the pin, I controlled my powers myself.

And for third time in my life, I cried in my father's nostalgically warm arms as he held me close, whispering sweet words in my ear.

After the battle with the King of the Underworld, the world had suddenly become quiet. Yusei and I started dating when it seemed safe and somehow he managed to hold onto his title as King, something that Jack still held resentment toward.

He would come home from a duel and we cuddle on the couch, both talking about our days. Then one of us would get up and cook dinner. We would then start talking about anything. We would joke, laugh, smile and simply enjoy each other's presence. Just like my parents.

This routine continued even after we got married. Sometimes we would have a romantic dinner with a plate of spaghetti and delicious red wine. We often go on dinner dates and sometimes we hang out and meet with friends. We were happy.

He would help me when I woke up from nightmares by holding me tight to his chest so I could hear his heart beat, letting me cry into his warm chest. I would help him go to sleep by calming the cold shivers as they ran down his spine, enjoying the intimate closeness we shared. We both relied on each other, both needed each other even if it had been years and our natural energy was starting to fade.

He was still a friendly rival to Jack and I was always had to play 'little miss peacemaker'. Jack never liked me. To tell you the truth I don't think that he even likes me he probably won't. I guess I was never on the I'm-going-to-actually-deal-with-you-like-a-human-being-and-kinda-not-hate-you-that-much list.

Now here I was. Divorced, and I had no freaking idea why. I still miss him, still so in love with him. Everywhere I go, I see his face, haunting me, taunting me. I would go to the supermarket and I would see artichokes and remember how he used to suck and scrap the delicious mush with his perfect teeth. For someone reason, I loved it when he was eating. He just oozed of sex appeal and the way his mouth and tongue played with his food, it took all my self-control _not_ to jump over the table and kiss him senseless.

Every time I pass a game shop, I remember how he would go in, exploring the packs, the little trinkets, and the expensive duel disks. I would imagine how he would talk to the clerk about where the items were made and where they got the parts and after that, it all became incoherent. I used to be so annoyed on how long him to pry himself away from the desk but now I long for it. I miss it so much that it nearly brings me to tears. Why couldn't he be here with me? Why did he leave?

One day I found myself staring in the window of Yusei's favorite game shop. I don't know what made me do. The bell chimed as I stepped into the colorfully painted store. The clerk leaned forward on the desk and when he saw me, he waved. I walked over to the counter and shared a quick hello with clerk before he disappeared behind the curtains that lead to the storeroom.

Unconsciously, I glanced at every deck in the store. I brushed my hand on a Lord of Strom deck, mixed feelings swelling inside me at the site at my first deck. I walked past my old deck, pushing down the lurking sadness, and saw the deck that haunted me day and night.

I didn't know the name of it but I knew it was very similar to Yusei's deck. He had bought it for our future child, if we ever decided to have one. That deck reminded me of the wonderful future we should have had, could have had, and would have had if he had not left. That deck made me think even harder on why he left, shifting through what I could have possible done that pushed him away.

Subconsciously, I lifted my hand toward the deck as salty tears trickled down my face. It wasn't until I felt the clerk's sad gaze boring into my back that I looked up, harshly pulled out of my mystified trance. Not being able to look the clerk in the eye, I turned my head away as I traveled back to the counter

Every step felt like I walked a hundred, memories zooming out of reach and by the time, I got to the front desk I was already hyperventilating.

I worked up the courage, collecting it deep from my soul and I watched with stinging eyes as the clerk was leaned over the smooth counter, his presence warm and comforting. Without a reason, I grabbed his hand, as if he had the power to rid me of this loneliness and pain. He gently squeezed my hand back as if saying he was sorry and I felt as my face scrunch up as I tried to prevent my tears from spilling over.

Sometimes Yusei would go in the stock room to test out the new merchandise, and I would wait near the counter and talk to the clerk. A couple times, I even seen him at a few of Yusei's duels and met with his small family. Usually I was able to attend a couple Yusei's duels but with my own dueling career, it wasn't something I could do as often as I liked. However, for the past four months I took a break. Dueling reminded me too much of Yusei and I couldn't concentrate. If I stayed it would have been the end of my career and then I would have really had nothing left.

"Tell me the truth, how are you doing?" I finally looked the clerk in the eye. I really wanted to lie to him. Tell him that I was perfectly fine but I couldn't. Breaking this bond with this man, Jones, was one of the worst mistakes I could possibly make, especially in this difficult time.

"It's been a living hell. Everywhere I go, I see his face. Everything I do reminds me of him. I haven't had a good night's sleep in four months!" My voice broke, tears racing down my cheeks. "I keep waking up to nightmares. Sometimes it's him with another woman, laughing at me. He keeps taunting me, saying I was nothing to him,, that I was some charity case and that we were this big mistake. And other times I see him dying and I'll be running to him but I get farther and farther away then closer."

"I don't know what to do anymore. Everyone keeps telling me just to move one, he doesn't want you anymore. You don't deserve him. You're too good for him. But there is this part of me that tells me, wait a little longer, he's going to come back." I took a deep breath.

"When we first started dating I always worried he was going to leave me." I laughed at the irony. My laugh was bitter, it was cold and it sounded more like hers than mine. The girl I had long forgotten ever since Yusei had come into my life.

"I guess I should have kept worrying, huh?" He squeezed my hand again, willing me to continue, as if he knew that I hadn't confessed all my emotions.

"It's like I'm fighting a war and I'm losing." I shook my head. "No, I already lost and now I'm just causality: forgotten, bloody and unappreciated. I may have survived but I lost myself along the way and I can't get it back." He reassuringly squeezed my hand once more.

"It just takes time." He advised me. "Want to help me with the shop?" That what I liked about Jones. He tried to help me but he did it in the way it seemed like I was helping him more than he was helping me. I hastily wiped away the last of my tears and smiled for the first time in four months.

"Yeah that would be nice."

For the next hour, I laughed the entire time. We were joking and teasing around while I rearranged the shop. It finally came time for him to close shop and me to leave to my empty house. I turned my back to him and was about to walk away when I felt his calloused hand grab my shoulder. I felt safe as his aged warmth wrapped around me and I knew if I had more friends like him I would make it.

I turned around and Jones was staring at me, a serious glint in his eyes.

"I'm always here for you." He assured before we parted our separate ways, his words comforting my distressed state.

I reached our- now my- apartment ten minutes later. As I walked through the door, my normal routine took over. Throw my keys down on the counter, take off my shoes, cook dinner, call for my ex-husband as if he was still here, as if he had never left and it was just a bad nightmare.

I was conflicted. Part of me didn't want to forget him. I didn't want to _forget_ the feel of his fingers brushing my arm, the electric sparks that followed after it. I didn't want to _forget_ his sweet taste and the feel of his lips on mine. I didn't want to _forget_ his sexy deep chuckle.

I wanted to _remember_ how he looked without his jacket and how sexy he was. I wanted to _remembe_r how my heart pounded in my chest as his hot breath fanned my face, emotions flickering through his cobalt irises. I wanted to _remember_ the lovemaking, the stares, the kisses.

But I didn't want to remember the tears, the pills, the dirty thoughts of death. I didn't want to feel the painful tugging of my heart after taking so many years to rid myself of them. I didn't want to remember how it felt when the world stopped spinning as if someone had pulled the rug from right under me.

I pushed both the good and the bad thoughts in a dark corner and walked into my house. My neighbors must have thought I was a fool standing in my doorway just staring out into nothing.

I closed the door behind me as I entered the living room. I threw the keys on the jutting kitchen counter, slipped my shoes off and navigated through dark room, expertly avoiding all furniture. Glass French doors greeted me at the end of the living room. Momentarily I studied their reflect glass window panes as I pushed to doors to the side, stepping out onto our small balcony.

A table, two chairs and a radio greeted me. The cool breeze caressed my ivory skin, my maroon hair swaying as I welcomed the fresh breath of air against my flushed skin. I sat down in one of the chairs and turned on the radio. Then I looked at the stars, studying them like I used to do with Yusei.

I don't know how many songs passed until the song that changed my life played. The announcer had just finished rambling on about something irrelevant when he announced, "Our next song is Unbeautiful by Lesley Roy requested by one of listeners."

The soft beat of the guitar played, and I kept my eyes focused on the stars, willing myself to forget Yusei's face but finding myself doing the exact opposite.

_Don't hang up,_

_Can we talk?_

_So confused_

Her sweet singing filled the lazy air. I knew of the pain she was referring to, that is if she really understood what she was singing.

"**Yusei! What the hell is this?" I received no answer, just silent breathing. **

"**Yusei Fudo, you better tell me what the hell is going on and where the hell are you at…" I glanced at the clock, trying to calm my raucous thoughts. Calm breaths. Calm breaths. "One o'clock in the morning." Screw calm breaths.**

"**Aki, I can't explain things right now." He sighed, as if I were just an annoyance to him. I hissed into the phone, fantasying about punching my arm through the hologram and pulling him into the living room so I could torture him until he told me why in the hell there **divorce **papers on the counter. In. Our. Kitchen. He shifted his gaze to the side of him, where I could hear a very **feminine **voice. **

"**Yusei, you better tell me right now what in the hell is going on!"**

**The woman in the background said something but I was too busy glaring holes into my wonderful **husband's **holographic face. **

"**I have to go." I watched as the holograph faded with a beep, my teeth grinding against each other. **

"**Yusei." **

_It's like I'm lost._

**Dear Yusei, **

**I hope you're doing well. It's been… two weeks since I signed the papers. I always trusted your judgment, even now. Yet when I signed the papers I couldn't help but burst into tears. **

**I don't know if you know this but I miss you. I miss you so much that it hurts. **

**I'm lost. When you were here, I knew exactly where I was going in my life, who I was going with and how I was going to spend it. Now I don't know anymore. Most of the time I just sit on the couch and find myself staring at our wedding photo. I never remember walking to the couch, or sitting down on it. All I remember is your face. Your smiling face. **

**I don't duel anymore, I can't keep my appetite, and sleep has become impossible. You're haunting my dreams; your face never leaves my head no matter how many times I ask it. It's almost ironic, how much the you in my head wants me and how little the you in the real world wants me. I probably sound crazy but I can't bring myself to care. **

**Anyway, I have to go. My mother is here. You wouldn't believe what she is saying. One month she would have kissed the very ground you walked and now she is cursing you to the deepest pits of hell. I yelled at her yesterday. I think I hurt her feelings. I know she is trying to help and all but, I don't think cursing you to hell will solve anything. When you make up your mind, there is no changing your mind. I think we all knew that but we never expected you to leave me. **

**Love,**

**Aki**

_What went wrong?_

_What made you go?_

_Don't pretend you don't know_

**Dear Yusei, **

**I know I asked this before but what went wrong between us? Was I too demanding? Did I complain too much? Do you not think I'm not pretty anymore? Is it that I am getting older? **

**While part of me is mad, there is this part of me that is… happy. You stayed with me for a decade. Ten years. That's a long time. If you didn't find me someone important you wouldn't have stayed that long with me. **

**So, why do you leave? What made you go? You never did answer my question. You just keep silent, like a little boy with an unbearable secret. We don't talk anymore and it's making me frustrated so that's why I have been so mean on the phone. **

**I want to say it's your fault but I can't bring myself to do it. I know that you must have a good reason for leaving me and I guess I'm just going to have to trust your judgment. **

**Love, **

**Aki**

_This is me_

_I'm unchangeable_

"**You know you can't change me." **

"**Wouldn't dream of it." **

"**Even when I'm being a so called 'pain'?" **

**"When have I ever called you a pain?" **

"**Don't play coy with me." **

**"I'm not." **

"**Yes you are jerk." **

"**If I'm such a jerk why did you marry me?"**

"**You know I could easily divorce you." **

"**You wouldn't dream of it." **

"**Maybe I do." **

"**I'm never leaving you. Even if you murdered me." **

"**That can be arranged you know." **

"**I love you, Aki."**

"**I love you, Yusei." A chuckle. A smile. A kiss. **

_When did we fall apart?_

_Or did you lie_

_From the start?_

_When you said_

_Its only you_

"**You're not going to cheat on me, right?" **

**I peered at him through my eyelashes, trying to feign an innocent look. It was late; the moonlight's soft rays peeked through the open curtains, bathing Yusei's in its soft glow. At moments like these, he resembled an angel. My sweet angel. I ran a hand down his cheek, listening as he moaned.**

**I couldn't go to sleep. I tried every single method I could think of, warm milk, counting sheep, even a sleeping pill but they all ended in failure. Instead, I started at the blank face of the ceiling, sorting all the thoughts in the back of my mind. When I had approached the subject of Jack and Carly's divorce (he cheated on her with his blue haired assistant), my brain started to form new thoughts despite my mental protests. **

**Like any woman this day and age, I worry about the fact that my husband is going to cheat on me. Even though he had proved himself again and again that he was a good man, the thought still frightened me to my core**

"**Aki, what time is it?" He asked groggily, his voice hoarse as he rubbed the dust out of his eyes. He yawned, stretching his arms toward the ceiling before bringing them down, propping himself up as he turned to look at me in all his natural glory.**

"**Two in the morning." I heard him let out an irritated sigh, his thumb and index finger squeezing the bridge of his nose. **

"**Can't sleep can you?" He guessed, concern buried deep in his cobalt irises. I just nodded my head, my hair brushing his naked shoulder.**

"**No, Aki I not cheating on you. Wouldn't I be with her right now?"**

"**I didn't say now, I mean in the future." I hissed in his ear, watching as his eyes dangerously closed before he opened them again. **

"**Aki, I'm going to say this once and only once." With a soft kiss he leaned his forehead against mine, his eyelashes tickling my cheek. I will never cheat on you. If I didn't want to be with you, I wouldn't have married you. I love you, Aki. From now until forever." He brought his lips down so he could sweetly kiss mine in a chaste kiss before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to his bare chest. I placed my hands over his heart, listening to his pounding heartbeat and I found myself starting to relax. **

"**Besides you need energy to have an affair and if you keep waking me up like this every morning, I might not have enough energy to deal with you." I chuckled, nuzzling my nose against his neck, breathing in the scent that was uniquely Yusei.**

"**I'll keep that in mind." I whispered against his skin, licking the sensitive spot on his collar before giving him a soft nip. He groaned, whether out of pleasure or my teasing, and he tucked my head under his chin, tightening his grip around my waist. **

"**Goodnight Aki." It was meant as a warning, a threat to get me to go to sleep but the words came out as a tired yawn before his eyes closed and he was fast asleep, safe in his dreams. Together we fell asleep, holding each other tightly until the morning sun rose high in the sky.**

_I was blind_

_Such a fool_

_Thinking we_

_Were unbreakable_

**Dear Yusei,**

**I was so blind. I was so foolish. I hope you don't take that literally. Even if we were going through a divorce, I would have told you if I was going blind and had any other illness. You probably don't believe me, do you? Probably scoffed or rolled you eyes or muttered the word "liar" under your breath.**

**I don't know if you knew but when we were together I thought we were untouchable. We were perfect for each other in every way; we were practically every writer's and TV director's inspiration. **

**We fought the world from danger and somehow we managed to stay together. I thought we be together for forever. I think a part of me believed our love was so strong that it could evade time. **

**Wasn't that foolish of me? I started dueling again, finally got you out of my head. I think it's because I've written you so many letters it feels like I can focus on other things. Sometimes when I write these letters, it feels like you're here with me again like it used to be. Wishful thinking I guess. **

**I hope you're proud. **

**Love,**

**Aki**

_It was you and me against the world_

"**I hate it when people use that saying to express their love." **

"**What saying?" Yusei inquired from the couch, his hands behind his head with his eyes closed as if the heavy heat was a gentle lullaby singing him to sleep. **

"**Like you care. You're only asking because it's the safe thing to do." **

**He cracked one eye open, his cobalt blue orb shining with mirth. **

"**Maybe." He drew out, his baritone voice so low and deep that it sent shivers down my spine. "Or maybe not." He added, closing his eye but I didn't miss the triumphant smirk on his face. **

**Jerk. **

"**I'm talking about when people say that the world is against them." I huffed; irritated at how weak my will was when it came to all things Yusei. **

"**I know it's a figure of speech but they have no idea what it's like to be fighting against or even for the world. It just makes them seem ignorant, saying that their love is the greatest thing in the world that people are so jealous they fight to tear them apart."**

"**So you're trying to say you hate people who declare their love openly despite society's standards?" I narrowed my eyes at his sly smirk and mischievous tone that made his cobalt eyes brighter. **

"**Shut up." He just smirked and closed his eyes, falling into a peaceful nap. **

_And you promised me forever more_

"**Will you stay with me?" **

**Yusei stared at me in confusion and watched as I curled up in the sheets, scooting away from him, as I blushed brighter than my hair. **

"**What are you talking about? And where do you think you're going?" I squealed as he grabbed my naked torso, pulling me closer to him. I could feel the sharp angles and dips of the muscles on his chest pressing into my skin and I felt as my face burn brighter. **

"**I mean are you going to stay with me…forever?" The words caught in my throat, barely coming out in a low raspy whisper, and I quickly looked down in shame. I was so stupid! I had just implied that my husband was going to leave me and we were barley married for a few hours! **

**Yusei, not the least bit offended, quietly chuckled as he nuzzled his nose into my neck, and I couldn't stop the breathy moan that escaped my lips. He chuckled into my throat again, kissing the sensitive spot before lifting his face back up to meet my eyes. **

"**I'm staying here until the day you don't want me anymore, **_Aki__**.**_**" My name **rolled **off his tongue and it took all my will power to stop the loud moan that vibrated in the back of my throat. **

"**Good, because that's forever." Yusei smirked as he leaned down to capture my bottom lip between his teeth and his lips. **

"**Now where were we?" **

_Was it something that I said?_

_Was it something that I did?_

_Cuz I gotta know_

_What made me unbeautiful._

"**When did you become such a coward?" **

**"I'm not a coward."**

"**Could have fooled me?" **

"**Look Aki, I left because I wanted to leave."**

"**Who's the slut?".**

"**I'm not cheating on you."**

**"What the hell did Jack say?"**

**"He didn't say anything to me. Look Aki, the duels about to start. I have to go." **

"**You're not leaving until you tell me **right **now why the hell you left me." **

"**I'm going Aki; I will talk to you later." **

"**Don't." **

"**What?" **

"**I said don't. Don't you dare call me until you're ready to tell me why you left. And don't call me Aki. Those are only reserved for people who **care** about me." **

"**Just take care okay."**

_I've been told_

_What's done is done_

_To let it go_

_And carry on_

"**Luna?" Large turquoise irises stared at me with a determined expression, an expression I only had seen on my **ex**-husband. **

"**Can I come in?" Luna was always known for her politeness but she always managed to carry this soft tone that made her have a warm intimate aura. However, her voice lost its warm touch and instead gained a new cold distance that I affiliated with those who were extremely polite. **

"**Of course… you just surprised me." I informed her as I swept my body to the side, letting her come into the quiet house before I closed the door.**

"**Tea?" I heard a soft 'yes please' as I headed towards the kitchen. **

**As I entered the living room with two steaming cups of tea, I saw that Luna had set herself down on one of the sofas, **my **sofas, her back straight and rigid, her eyes looking anxiously around while she chewed on her lower lip. **

"**Relax. I'm not going to bite you." I watched as she jumped from the suddenness of my voice, her head turning slowly as if in one of those horror movies when the monster suddenly appeared behind one of the characters. **

"**Sorry." She apologized as I handed her the cup of tea.**

"**So what do I owe this visit to?" I inquired as I sat down in the love seat, sipping my cup of tea. **

**After taking a sip, she placed the cup down on the coffee table, staring at the pictures of Yusei and me that I didn't bother to take down yet. **

"**Do you love Yusei?" I sighed. I knew this question was coming some time. It was only just a question of when and from who. **

"**This isn't a question about whether we love each other or not. It's a question about whether he wants to continue to work it out or not." I glanced at the pictures, both of us smiling and laughing as if we didn't have a care. It seemed so long ago. **

"**So you want to make it work? You want to get back together again?" **

"**I… I don't know, Luna." I shifted my eyes to my tea, staring at my reflection. **

"**That's a lie." It's the first time I heard Luna speak in such a harsh tone and I would be lying if I said that it didn't surprised me. With quivering eyes, I set my tea down, my gaze never leaving her determined one. **

"**Your heard me that's a lie. The Akiza I know wouldn't sit here mopping around, waiting for her husband come back. She wouldn't even sign the papers. The Akiza I know would storm to Yusei, smack him around a bit and demand to know the truth before she decided to do anything." **

**My eyes softened. Time was slipping right through my finger tips and I didn't even notice. Our Luna, my Luna, my precious little Lu-Lu was growing up and I didn't bother to notice. She had been so young when we started fighting the dark signers; I had felt the urge to protect her like my own child, to give her the childhood she deserved. Now in her twenties, I noticed the lines of young adulthood and the unfamiliar spark of wisdom in those large eyes. My precious little girl grew up and I didn't even notice. **

"**If you want to fight for him, then fight for him. If you want to move on, then move on but just don't mop around and not decided anything. We can accept any outcome, just stop sulking." **

**Her voice quivered and her eyes glistened with restrainted tears. She was going to cry. **

**I set my teacup down; scooting to the edge of the chair as I gently stroked her smooth cheek. **

"**Lu-Lu…" I whispered as comforting as I could as I wiped away the crystal tears that fell from her eyes. **

"**Call… call me that again." She gave a slight hiccup, more tears slipping from her eyes.**

"**My precious little Lu-Lu." I spoke so sweetly, so softly, so gently. I opened my arms and she threw herself in my lap, hugging my waist tightly as she cried into my shoulder. **

**As I stroked her back I had decided on my next plan of action. I wasn't going to hurt my Lu-Lu again or any of my friends anymore. Not anymore. **

_And deep inside_

_I know that's true_

_I'm stuck in time_

_I'm stuck on you_

_When we were still untouchable_

**I stared at the pile of letters, about ready to throw them into the post office box when my hand froze, refusing to move any further. I tried; I tried so hard but every time I forced make my hand move forward, it moved backwards. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I dropped the letters in my coat pocket and walked away, hoping time would eroded away the smile of his face. **

_It was you and me against the world_

_And you promised me forever more._

"**I love you." His voice rang through my memories, playing over in my head. He said it every day, every day when he left for work and when he came back, when we were in bed and when we made love. He loved me and even though a part of me didn't want to believe someone as wonderful as him could love me.**

_Was it something that I said?_

_Was it something that I did?_

_Cuz I gotta know_

_What made me unbeautiful_

_Wake up, wake up, wake up_

_Cuz I'm only dreaming_

**I'm in a trance. I'm in a dream. I can't wake up. I'm stuck here forever. I always see them on the white counter, the blank papers expect for the cursive written word divorce. I saw Yusei's happy face, a photograph being torn up into pieces and blown away by the wind. And I watch, watch as the demon I used to be put her hand in my chest and ripped out my heart. **

_Get out, get out, get out_

_Get out of my head now_

**I'm in the dream again. It's as dark as the night, as quiet as a morgue and as dead as my heart. **

**There it was again. The torn up photo had mended itself, as if perfectly new but I couldn't find in my heart to care. I couldn't reach out toward it, I couldn't protect it. I was too broken, too fragile. I didn't have the energy to fight. I didn't have the energy to care. I didn't even have the energy to cry. I turned my back on the picture and whispered two words I thought I never say to Yusei, picture or not. **

"**Go away." **

_Because we're much better_

_All together_

_Can't let go._

**How in the hell did I end up here, I don't know. I don't remember my legs walking to the couch. I don't remember sitting down. I don't remember making the cold tea on the coffee table and I especially don't remember getting up to stare at the picture closer. I don't remember as my fingers brush his face. All I remember staring at his smiling face, boring my eyes into blue eyes as I wish that he was here, holding me in his arms as I cried. **

_It was you and me against the world_

"_**Aki. Aki. AKI!"**_

_And you promised me forever more_

"**I'm staying here until they day you don't want me anymore. I love you Aki" **

_Was it something that I said?_

"_**I need you Yusei."**_

_Was it something that I did?_

"_**Don't leave me"**_

_Cuz I gotta know_

"_**When did you become such a coward?"**_

_What made me unbeautiful_

"_**Am I too ugly for you now? How old is she? Twenty?"**_

_It was you and me against the world_

"_**Don't ever do that again, Aki. We thought we lost you. I thought I lost you."**_

_And you promised me forever more_

"_**I love you, Aki." **_

_Was it something that I said?_

"_**I hate you Yusei." **_

_Was it something that I did?_

"_**I'm sorry if I was rude, it's just I was genuinely worried. You two were the most compatible couple we knew and to see you break up, I thought how am I going to make it work?"**_

_Cuz I gotta know_

"**If you want to fight for him, then fight for him."**

_What made me unbeautiful_

**And I watch, watch as she put her hand in my chest and ripped out my heart.**

_Make me unbeautiful _

"**I love you, Yusei."**

Filled with new energy and words of encouragement, the stars watched as the young women ran into her living room, through the dark house and into the street.

**Let me explain a few things first. Bold = Aki's past memories, letters or thoughts. **_Italicized = empathizes and song lyrics _and regular equals the explanation on her life before and after the divorce. Please review.


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